How to speak von der Leyen

Ursula von der Leyen’s announcement Tuesday of her new European Commission was packed with EU jargon and bluster.

There was talk of “intergenerational fairness,” “holistic clusters” and the “spirit of collegiality.” Executive vice presidents were appointed, new Commission portfolios revealed. Smiling photos taken, hands shaken.

Are your eyes glazing over?

Spoiler alert: There was more to von der Leyen’s announcement than met the, er, ear. Here’s our handy guide to what the Commission chief actually meant — and the bits she didn’t say out loud.

Don’t say: Green.
Do say: Clean.

Don’t say: Stovepipes.
Do say: Holistic clusters. 

Don’t say: Kids.
Do say: Intergenerational fairness.

Don’t say: Commissioner I made a deal with.
Do say: Executive vice president. 

Don’t say: Jobs and social rights.
Do say: Skills.

Don’t say: ECR.
Do say: Italy.

Don’t say: 16 male commissioners.
Do say: 40 percent women. 

Don’t say: Tempi train crash.
Do say: Sustainable transport.

Don’t say: Don’t mess with the boss. 
Do say: A spirit of collegiality.

Don’t say: Screw you, Viktor Orbán.
Do say: Commissioner for health and animal welfare.

Don’t say: The Draghi Report.
Do say: The Holy Bible. 

Do say: All commissioners are equal. 
Don’t say: But some are more equal than others.